Archives For Out of Context

Kay: You’re probably right, dear.

Jon: [slight pause as I process what she said] …Hey, waitaminit. I haven’t been married 26 years for nothing. I recognize that! That’s one of those… women’s trick phrases, isn’t it?

Kay: Yes, you could be right.

The Bible in 3 Words

September 19, 2011

Erin: We study the Bible and all, but I really don’t know what’s in there.

Me: Okay. I want you to summarize the Bible in three words.

Kay: She can’t summarize anything in three words!

Me: Three words.

Erin: “Bunch. Of. Jews.”

“We don’t have enough chairs. There are too many butts in the house.”

Kay sez 20

June 7, 2010

“No, you can’t have another midlife crisis! You’ve already had two, so you owe me one.”

Me: I blogged twice today!

Kay: Anything that’s going to get you in trouble?

Coworker sez 3

May 13, 2010

Actual quote from a meeting at work. It makes sense in context, but I burst out laughing.

The parent dies while it is demonizing the children.

Update: I asked my friends in the computer industry to explain. This might help. Or not.

You mean daemon-izing? Typically its all about parents forking children and then killing them. Sometimes its nice when a child joins up with its parent. Typically I have parents abort children if they don’t join in time.

Kay sez 18

May 3, 2010

“I’m trying to civilize the world, one man at a time.”

Kay sez 17

April 21, 2010

“I just pulled out a $150 dust bunny.”

Kay sez 16

April 14, 2010

Kay: “Oh. You were talking to the toilet.”

Erin (in the background): “That explains everything.”

Jon sez 2

March 31, 2010

Kay: “Why would parental controls kick in during an online math lesson?”

Jon (sotto voce): “Math porn?”
(louder): “Kids, it’s time we had a talk about commutative operations.”