After a job interview, it is customary to perform self-flagellation.
At least, that’s what my mind does to me. And today’s interview went rather well! The time flew by and I enjoyed myself. I left happy, thinking, “I actually have a decent shot at this job.” But that didn’t stop my mind from playing its dirty tricks.
Replaying specific sections. Pointing out the flaws, the obvious and clear answers I had overlooked.
“You rambled,” my mind says. “You talked in circles, hoping that if you did that long enough, you’d eventually stumble on the answer you knew was there. But did you forget? You’re an introvert! You have clarity only after you leave the scene and have a chance to reflect on things. So the result is that you were a babbling idiot. You blew it.”
“Stop, mind!” I say. “There’s nothing you or I can do about it now, so shut up!”
But the knot of unease grows. It’s not healthy. I know what to do: I will turn my anxieties into prayers. “God, help! I really, really want this job!”
But God interrupted. Suddenly, and quite clearly: “Stop. You already have a lot of people praying for you today, so you don’t need to. Be quiet. Stop praying.”
My anxiety immediately lifted. But how odd, to be told by God to stop praying.