Ouch

August 11, 2004



[Tarzan gets it in the groin]I woke up this morning at 5:00 a.m. with a strange pain around my groin… around my groin, not on it. I started to feel cold and was unable to fall back to sleep. By the time Kay woke up I was pretty concerned — this is a pain I’m not used to. I asked Kay to do some searching, and she came up with an Internet diagnosis: Swollen lymph nodes. Apparently my body is working overtime to fight something, and it should just clear up in a couple days.

Phew! I was afraid it was my ovaries. In the meantime I am weak and have a slight fever — just in time for our home group’s last “serious” meeting, great.

I told my lovely wife that the treatment was more sex, but this did not seem to convince her.

“I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.”



Jon Reid

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As an American missionary kid who grew up in Japan, I'm a child of two cultures, while not fully belonging to either. This gives me a sightly different view of the world.

12 responses to Ouch

  1. More importantly, just in time for a TMBG concert this weekend… with me!
    Oh, and airborne. Seriously. Get some. Take it every 4 hours. You’ll feel a lot better a lot faster. It will actually help you get better. Theraflu, also a good choice. Makes you feel like a superhero, but it only masks the sickness. I suggest these two in conjunction with one another.

  2. Our bodies sure do some strange things. Its difficult to figure it out sometimes. I wish more sex WOULD just take care it! But alas it doesn’t. Sometimes it just “masks” things – har har.
    Hope you’re better soon.

  3. If only I had known that I could get rid of my head cold with sex. Damnit!

  4. Great post, Jon – Blue Oyster Cult was my “Monty Python’s The Secret Of Life” until I read it. Now I can get some sleep.
    Hope you are feeling better; I think you should consider the possibility of a hernia and/or a prostate problem and have one of those tests where they stick a really big long needle in there. Actually, two needles – one on each side. It’s the only way to be sure. >evil grin< Love you, buddy!

  5. Hope you feel better Jon.
    That cowbell thing cracks me up. I’ll have to show that to Erick.
    I’m sure he would also agree that more sex is the best medicine. Sure, why not?

  6. You should cut them off jon,.Kay told me they don’t work anyway. That why the cats laugh at you when they walk by

  7. I just thank God it wasn’t your ovaries. Now that would have been a problem.

  8. Yikes! Jon, please go see a Doctor ASAP. In the mean time, I’ll be praying for you. :^)

  9. Thanks, everyone. I went into our home group meeting ready to just crash and go to bed. But the group insisted on praying for me right then & there — and I suddenly had energy and was up past midnight!
    The pain’s still there, kinda like getting a knee to your nuts, but it’s definitely better. I think maybe the prayer would have been more effective if it had been by “laying hands on the affected area.” Marvin Gaye can be the worship leader.
    OMG, Mike A. actually left a comment!

  10. Now I can actually ask you (in my Soprano’s voice) “How’s your balls?”

  11. Noelle, (putting on my AC/DC voice), you’ve got the biggest balls of them all.